


Because we love them.

by senjoutoai



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Baekhyun's POV, Denial, FWB, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hopeful Ending, Jimin completly sneak out on me, M/M, Romance, a lot of pinning, hunho appears for a moment, mention of alchool, pinning, smutt is only mentioned and described a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 05:51:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18138263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/senjoutoai/pseuds/senjoutoai
Summary: Baekhyun experiences pain and denial. He drink to forgets his one sided love, but only manage to remember more.





	Because we love them.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first time writing chanbaek! please be gentel with me!!!  
> enjoy:)

why do we let ourselves be hurt by people?

Baekhyun's throat burned as he drowned his fifth shot today. Somehow in the back of his head, he was laughing hysterically at the cliché way of consuming his even more cliché heartbreak. 

He could be killing his friends' ears by faux singing a cheesy trot song, and still beating their scores at their weekly karaoke hangout. Instead here he is hugging the greasy counter of a crappy bar. 

After all this time, there should be some ban for caring about someone who doesn't give the courtesy of doing the same. 

Baekhyun chuckled in real life. Three, two-maybe even one- year younger him would be probably appalled at the lack of originality. 

why does we choose to let people drive us to the bottom? 

But his younger version believed that he could surpasses it. The strong headed fashion major wasn't all that worried about the future of his relation with his best friend/boyfriend/friend with benifit whatever it is, was. 

He was optimistic, content with his life, and all too busy concentrating on pressing things at the time.  
The perfect marks he was so proud about, the numerous parties he crashed, the nice experiences and traineeships on his c.v.

They were all nice achievements, but couldn't for the life of them erase the bitter taste of regret. 

He did regret not taking a moment to ask himself what he was doing. He should've been more attentive to his foolish heart, leaping from his thorax to a pair of big, roughs hands.

He should've realised that he was in too deep, when he began associating home with the familiar scent of sea breeze, hiding a subtle but oh so addictive spiciness of Jasmine. He should've been spooked at the light giddiness, the simple sight of a tall, lanky silhouette brought him. 

He should've seen the absurd amount of hugs he found himself seeking daily to keep his mood even, and his skin healthy.

He regret not paying attention to all those alarming signs, and a lot more.

But he can't deny that it probably wouldn't have changed anything, even if he knew.

Why do we let ourselves be hurt by people? 

What a stupid, childish inquiry. Isn't it obvious? It's because we love them, so much we can't help but to hold on them.

Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol were your average best buddies. They got along well, had a lot of shared interests. Both just as loud, friendly, silly as the other. 

 

They were close enough to have no secrets between them, spend all free time together over anime, but not to the freaky point of empathic communication, and completing each other's sentences. 

Sehun and Junmyeon were more than enough of that for their clique of friends. 

One day drunks, and out of their mind they decided that making out was the right way of spending their night. The next morning hangovers, breath stinking, and head throbbing they laughed about it over Chanyeol's special pancakes. 

Honestly it baffled him how he had been so at ease back then while silently wishing he could eat those same pancakes forever. 

They didn't talk about it, never saw the need to. It happens, everyone have those kind of memories with their best friends, it was normal .

But then it keeps happening again, and again, and again. Sometimes not even with the pretence of alcohol to blame. Things quickly escalated, and were no longer PG-13 pretty fast.

how can we even love in those kind of situation?

Were they boyfriends, friends, friend with benefits? Baekhyun didn't know, and didn't want ask either. He was so afraid of the answer that he lived in the grey zone for years. 

He was scared, but refused to even admit why. They fucked while holding hands, devouring each other's lips, a scolding passion in their touches. So lost in each other their orgasms often catch them out of guards.

As their after go, Baekhyun let Chanyeol squishes him in his sticks-like arms, or he spoon the taller himself. They would have mundane talks about annoying professors, plan a diet they would never follow because they're both big eaters. Chanyeol would pester Baekhyun about going to the gym with him, and get chewed off about his black baggy clothes.

"This is Kyungsoo's influence" The older will repeat every time.

They would gush about their 'crushes', but never comment on their mutual, everlasting single statue.

Then they play videos games, competitive as ever, leaving their take out to cool on Baekhyun's small living room table. And go on their merry way without much troubles.

 

We call it loving them, but is it really love when it make us lose love for ourselves? 

Baekhyun was in so much denial he couldn't remember when he began catching feelings for Park Chanyeol, but his wake up call is very much vivid in his mind. 

 

It wasn't anything that out of the ordinary, yet it served its propose. 

Baekhyun was meeting with his best friend, and the annoying couple at their favourite coffee. It was dog friendly, for the bunch of dog enthusiasts they were- Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Sehun-, and had the best bubble tea ever according to one bratty makene, and thus suited all their tastes

 

-Junmyeon was so whipped for Sehun, his opinion wasn't even needed anymore-

The four of them are having the time of their life. Baekhyun is taking a picture with the adorable welsh corgi on his lap, that he will probably never post on his social media account, when Chanyeol, all pouty, ask him to take a selfie with him and his poodle as well. 

The innocent soul of Baekhyun almost leave his body when he turns, and see the tiny, black lap dog almost disappearing in the younger's long limbs. The musician is giving him his signature all teeth grin, dimple on display, looking so soft in his yellow too big sweater. 

Baekhyun wordlessly angle the camera lens of his Smartphone to take a selfie of them four. 

An absurd thought pass through his head. 'If only we could adopt those dogs together ' 

"Eww!!!! That was so gross hyung" Sehun's taunting make him break in nervous sweats. Did he just utter that out loud? 

Apparently yes by the red tint off Chanyeol's cheeks. Baekhyun tries not to show an unexpected bought of embarrassment on his part.

"Shut up, Like you have any room to talk!" he yells at the youngest.

"You both are so dumb," Junmyeon roll his eyes, but still open his mouth to accept a spoonful of citrus cake from his lover. 

"here give me that picture" Chanyeol demand, he'll probably update it on his own instagram account, and tag Baekhyun so that everyone can see it. He probably asked in the first place specifically for that reason. He he know the older doesn't have enough confidence in his face somtimes to do it on his own. He's always so sweet .

"It looks great, my handsome face and the cutest puppies in the world" He boast. A warm wave floods through Baekhyun's chest. 

His sweet boy.  
Baekhyun pause, what?

 

why do we give handle them so much power over us? and exposes our vulnerability to them?

 

After this he starts to realises a lot of things, like how being introduced as Chanyeol's best buddy doesn't delight him any longer, instead his feel a weird ache in his heart at the word friend. 

He link his bad mood lately towards Minseok hyung to him being Chanyeol's ex, and his jealous tendencies.

How his apartment seems so large and empty when Chanyeol leaves after their session. 

Lastly but no last, how their hook up are always so hated, but so wholesome at the same time. They have sex about three to five times a week, but never gets bored or look elsewhere. 

Chanyeol pines him to the wall and have his way with him, but prepares him so slowly Baekhyun damn right lose his head, and genteelly ask if it was too much when they finishes, even when he knows it isn't. 

He's generous like that, and gets off on his partner's pleasure, and reassurances. One time he came untouched on sucking Baekhyun's dick, and hearing how good he was making him feels. 

 

Baekhyun on the other hand isn't always so considerate, he holds his lover on all four, and wreck him so bad he can't walk straight for days. You can't blames him. Baekhyun is a thighs' man, and Chanyeol has milky expanses that ask to be worshiped, that he exposes all the time with his damned too short shorts. 

Baekhyun has to face the reality, he was in love with Park Chanyeol, and it wasn't something small that'll blow off simply over time.

But Baekhyun for all his confident, outgoing ways; has a lot of insecurities. He didn't believe in his luck enough to even think about Chanyeol loving him as well. Plus if it went both ways wouldn't have Chanyeol asks him out already? 

 

So Baekhyun did another overly cliché thing. He was being a coward, and avoiding the love of his life like mosquito avoids all the sane places to bite their victims. 

 

Today, he dodges the band's meeting to drink in peace.

Baekhyun snickers bitterly. He was the very epitome of cliché. His snickers turns to painful sobs.

No one told him that this hurts so much it makes you want to lay in bed for years, and avoides all humans being, because they all seems to know how much of a failure you are for being so stupid.

He feel incomplete, and like he's never going to be whole again. A giant, Chanyeol shaped, piece of him is never to be found again.

 

The bartender is throwing concerned glances in Baekhyun's way. He had been keeping an eye on him all this time, because he recognize him from his arts class. 

 

Jimin is like that, he's too nice for his own good. Gets concerned about everything and everyone. When he first expressed his intention to be a bartender as a part time job, he received mixed reactions of incredibility, disbelieve, and disagreement, but he pushed thought with his determination. 

 

A whimper hastle him, he shook Baekhyun genteelly. The older raises his head wobbly, then smiles at bartender.

Jimin smiles back, and asks "Hey are you okay? do you need me to call someone for you?" 

Baekhyun giggles, "No, no need! I'm go_ood" he hiccups " You're so ni- nice hehe, like m_ hick like my butterfly" he beams, "bu_ but hihi I can hick ha_ave another glass?

 

Jimin politely refuses to serves him" But I need to forgive_ no hihi to forget my butterfly" he pouts.

Jimin thought that he was cute, but definitely not getting another drink," You knows_ I miss him so much_ so so sooo much_ I wanted_ I wanted to see him more_most more" Tears drops again" But now_ now_ I doesn't see my pretty buttfly? butterfry?" He scrunch his face in concentration "I miss my pretty butterfly" He rambles. 

 

Jimin's heart is twisting at the distressed tone and loving words. Damn he was too soft for this. He's about to cave, and searches in Baekhyun's pockets for his phone. He obviously needs someone. 

"My pretty butterfly" When The drunk man cries suddenly, joyfully, and lunches himself on an approaching figure.

The bartender see the most tinder stare in the stranger's eyes. Fondness so overfloowing, he could only wishs to be fixed with such a look someday as well. 

Jimin smiles slwoly, he doesn't need to worry anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my work. I hope it was fun.
> 
> I would really like to know what you guys think about this, did I stay true to chanbaek or was i completly out of it?
> 
> any feed back kudos or comments are very welcome:)


End file.
